A Team Without A City

First place team, in No. 2 market in America

First place team, in the No. 2 market in America

“I’m having difficulty staying a fan this year,” said Steeler Guy at Thanksgiving Dinner. “I can’t get past the CTE.   It’s a gladiator sport.  These guys are going to be putting guns in their mouths in 20 years time.”

He admitted it didn’t stop him from walking up to Hollywood Blvd at 10 am last week to catch the early game at a bar. He too, had tremendous difficulty finding a bar willing to put the volume on, even when there were less than a dozen customers in the room.  He ended up at Hooters, of all places, where the Pittsburgh fans had taken over.

We agreed we were fortunate not to have sons to agonize over come time for the AYSO/Pop Warner family discussion.  Our imaginary parenting could be flawless while we watched someone else’s son go helmet to chest plate at top speed.

2020

2020 is foresight wishful thinking

The mockups for the new Rams stadium in Inglewood depict three tiers of luxury boxes and every seat filled to capacity in 2020.  We’re not moving in that direction.   At $2.6 billion, it will be the most expensive sports stadium ever constructed. Personal Seat Licenses will range from $175,000-$225,000 for club seats.  That’s what you pay Stan Kroenke, billionaire, to obtain the rights to pay him another $350-400 per ticket to see the game live.

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Here was the tailgate scene before the Texans game.  Based on this tableau, I would say the median Rams fan is 45 years old, drinks beer, and works in the construction trade.   Hard to see six figure PSL’s coming out of anyone’s wallet here.   Somewhere in Los Angeles, the thinking goes, lurk 70,000 rich people who aren’t going to the games now when the Rams are both a prodigal returned and winning, but will nevertheless appear deus ex machina in three years time, checkbooks open.  Rich people in LA will not allow their kids to play football.  What makes anyone think they’ll pay a fortune to subsidize a game of which they disapprove?

The people who will keep the game alive in LA are the three guys from Arizona we ran into at Dick’s Sporting Goods who drove all night from Phoenix just to see them once.  And oddballs in the Valley who are determined to have a slice of sports fan ecstasy and civic harmony after 20 years of no team.

To quote RB Todd Gurley:  “Please come to our games”.

La tierra de la carne

If you don't buy admission, my employers will make me contract salmonella

If you don’t pay $20, my employers will make me contract salmonella

First, there was burlesque, which gave way to stripping. Stripping gave way to lap dances in the champagne room.  Lap dances gave way gave way to extras. Extras gave way to….whatever it is, apparently it’s no longer enough to sustain the strip club business model.   All those clear plastic heels and micro school skirts have recently been converted to service as conveyances for food distribution.  At club prices, naturally.

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Which raises the question, what’s the food like?  Or more to the point, how does the food interact with the…entertainment, without drawing the ire of the health department?  Do ass-clapping and dipping buffalo wings in ranch dressing naturally cross-pollinate in the limbic pleasure centers?  Are there vegan options? I find it sadder than usual to see the old bump and grind (a time-honored American tradition) reduced to a loss leader for a bad restaurant. It doesn’t even live up to the dignity of the term sex worker. At least Hooter’s girls can call themselves waitresses.