Blogging has been light lately, what with the night work, so I took a break from my labors Saturday and go to a poker game in Los Feliz at the invitation of friends. A night off. That was the plan anyway.
Getting in the car at 9 pm, temptation whispered coyly in my ear: “why waste a trip to town? Just turn on the app….pay for your chips on the way.”
One ride, what could it hurt…it will probably be going to Hollywood anyway.
An hour later I was in Brentwood listening to a couple fight in the back of the car:
You blew it in there!
No, I didn’t.
I can’t take you anywhere.
You just don’t like it I understand people better than you.
Oh yeah, you got superpowers…
I texted my friends to say I was running a little late. I would send be heading to the Eastside and would make my apologies with a few bottles of Jackie Tar.
Two hours later I was sort of East…but more Southeast, down on Traction Street:
So what did he say?
He didn’t. He was rock hard quiet.
He thought it was sexy. Like defined abs or something.
Silence is negativity. Don’t let it mess with your head, girl.
He’s already in my head, like a virus.
By 2 AM, I was back in the Arts District again, by way of LAX, Glendale and Carthay Circle. The night was shot. The card game long over, and I was a no-show. For the second time in a month I had stood up the same friends on the rationalization of “okay, just one ride….”
Addiction is characterized by the inability to abstain. The re-wiring of the personality around reward circuits. Besides easy and certain money, what am I chasing?
Mrs. UpintheValley has a theory that I’m an extrovert who has chosen an introverted life, for the most part. Maybe this has something to do with it. Maybe I’m Bruce Wayne leaving my bat cave in Van Nuys at night, heeding the thrum and pull of the city. For now, I’m enjoying not knowing Why.