Do not forsake this woman, whatever you do.
Forget cheating on her.
If you do, do not fall asleep with pruning shears in the house.
Don’t tell her she needs to lose weight.
When asked for the truth, tell her what she wants to hear.
If you’re becoming bored, feign delight.
Cause there is no way you are breaking up with her.
She will have something to say about that.
Like she did the last guy.