How Sad Is My Tree?

This sad...
This sad…
Looking like January 2nd, already...
Looking like January 2nd, already…

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Yes, it’s in water. We even added Purcell’s Tree Preservative.  Oh, Christmas tree, stop dropping your needles.  Ten days we’ve had you.

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You’re not sad enough to be endearing, like the Charlie Brown tree which was green, at least. You’re just irritating. Ugly and overpriced. A harbinger of bad tidings. Up the chimney with you! Come grinch, help us put things aright.