5 thoughts on “The Incel Librarian”

  1. I work in investment banking in a large city that is not New York and have the luxury of observing these conversations when my girlfriend’s friends are around.

    Let me tell you, being poor is no obstacle. If you’re a DJ and perpetually short on rent, that is no obstacle to long term commitment.

    The jokes on her. He may be “poor” at $70k, but he likely has an indexed pension.

    1. Both of these women were on the plump side, and lived in modest apartments. Whats is going on here? Things have changed from when I was in my 20s.

      1. It’s hard for me to say, since I am probably the very last high school class to graduate without having had Facebook.

        If I had to give a succinct answer, I think online dating and “Lean In” has had a very profound effect on the female psyche. The idea that there is always someone better just one swipe away is a powerful one. Then of course, if you want to date a woman who is intelligent and ambitious and all of those things that seem to check all the boxes that a naive young man has in his mind as the template of a good long term partner (god I hate that word), you end up with someone who has drank the Sandbergian Kool-Aid, where even some kind of compromise on career prioritization seems like Chamberlain declaring Peace in Our Time and appeasing the patriarchy.

        I could have become an incel, but my unquenchable desire for money, thinking it would enable me to insulate myself from the chaos and pettiness of life, overruled any impulse to play video games and get stoned in perpetuity. Many of my friends did not escape those clutches.

        As much as the millenial generation has been branded as fragile snowflakes, desperate to retreat into the cry closet at the merest hint of dead white males, there is an undeniable hardness to us when it comes to interpersonal relationships. Especially with the opposite sex. There is a lot more willingness from
        Women to tolerate caddish, if not outright psychopathic behaviour from men (whether it’s the standard “fuck them and ghost them” move, or feeding, housing and clothing them for months on end when they are perfectly capable of working, or turning what should be a romantic weekend getaway into an ersatz fashion shoot). However, if you are a regular guy with a regular job, driving a regular car and living in a regular apartment in a respectable but unfashionable part of town, you are at the bottom of the totem pole. There’s some kind of novelty seeking behaviour here at play. God willing, one day I will be wealthy enough to write my Great American Novel on narcissism, and be wealthy enough to say “fuck you” to the inevitable SJW backlash without any
        Material effect on myself of my future family.

        Until then, I am working in a white collar Nike factory (there are even rats on the trading floor. How fitting) and a party to these types of conversations.

        By the way, I’ve been reading your site for a long time, and we have a friend in common offline. I’m in LA next month. Perhaps we can meet for a beer or coffee in Van Nyus? I posted my email below.

  2. What does incel stand for?

    Incel stands for “involuntary celibate” – the name assumed by deeply misogynistic men who believe women are to blame for their lack of sexual intimacy. Incels often believe women should be verbally shamed and, in extreme, physically punished with sexual assault, rape or disfigurement. Coming together on internet communities such as Reddit, “incels” categorise society into two camps, the “Chads” (attractive men) and “femoids” or “Stacys” (attractive women who the Chads find

    How did this subculture begin?

    According to an investigation by Elle magazine in 2016, the first internet incel was actually a woman. Alana, now a 45-year-old management consultant and artist from Toronto, coined the term “involuntary celibate” in 1993 after coming out as bisexual and looking back on years of feeling rejected. She blamed rigid gender norms, and created a website called “Alana’s Involuntary Celibacy Project”, a forum for people with similar grievances. The only problem was many of these people were men and they had vindictive, aggressive views that did not chime with Alana’s. She took down her project, but the community found other web nests: notably, Reddit. Until November last year, this r/incels subreddit had 40,000 users. It incited such extreme violence among women and “rival men” – including trying to persuade one user to castrate his flatmate – that it was eventually banned.

    1. Not all incels are angry. We only hear about those guys on the news. The deeper problem might be the army of men who are resigned to their circumstances. This bodes ill for America, twenty years out.

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